Having an apron string issue with my mom...serious answers only!?

You, your husband, and your Mom need to sit down together and establish some simple rules. First rule would be no unannounced visiting. Call first to see if it's convenient. You need to be able to say NO when it is not convenient or you don't want to give money, toilet paper, or anything else. Set up a day for vehicle shopping for your mom. Find out what she can afford and do some advance research by checking car ads in the paper and on line. Once she gets a vehicle, most of your troubles should disappear.